30/04/2013 - NEARLY WENT MEALY-MOUTHED THEN

            Nearly went mealy-mouthed then. Sorry about that. Mysteries always do that to me, the ones of the tabernacle variety at least. I suppose it's just my jangly nerves and the distinct lack of tambourine therapy. Did you know that it takes 60% of the population to even form a perfectly asymmetrical tambourine from wheat alone? They say it involves a lot of compression and electrolysis and everybody, absolutely everybody, needs to be wearing a mother's arm skin across one eye. It's a blinding experience and yet it doesn't blunt the speciality of the mixture. The only thing volatile is the misdirection some hairnet jobbies apply to keep things away from the red brick universities. All I can say is such is life and murky blackness. The ingredients are listed as follows: semolina, party hats, sexy tomatoes, whatever, dried apricots, transcendental martyrdom and a little scratch of cumulus cloud. Any other cloud and you'll have a field day in the lab. Our production leader, Erasmus Tabernacle, is wearing his hard hat now so there's nothing to do but sheet his latest instructions in watertight icicles. The icicles contain cumin extract just to give added flavour, or so the census says. It wouldn't so much as proclaim around Erasmus though, he has a friend in business partner Mr. Thank. He even managed to bring that sonuvabitch Neil onboard, although what he's bringing to the table hasn't exactly been made known yet. That's the problem with snot rag nepotism: some pegs don't fit the roles.

            As part of today's business, I will be plugging in bulbs of electricity. The insides rattle because of all the stapes concentrated inside, it should make a slow rushing sound like a wave or somebody catching their baby from a fallen window. It's not sadism provided you have the relevant package and don't question the fine print beyond the forty-fourth line, the one coloured pink. It takes all sorts of lifestyles to make Erasmus Tabernacle happy, he will not deal with sex for favours unless there is a cultural diversity keeping things interesting. All of his teddy bears have unsightly claws and yet still don't condescend. It's a tough biz as they always say although I'm inclined to disagree with the two-part return of Trustee Steve. That trustee gets around and it scares some of us on the conveyor belt line, he's always swatting wasps and focusing their stings on learning difficulties. There's nothing special about where he intends to go and what he hopes to do with the company resources. Goodness knows why his hardhat's up on the highest shelf of the trustee cupboard. Everybody wanted a cabinet but Erasmus thought it would be selling out to the American Market if we didn't add a cup to every container we use. Nobody talks about how metaphysical shit can get whenever Erasmus wants to fiddle with policies, mostly because we all really couldn't care. Our minds are befitting of urban gardeners: we plough in spite of the white women.