Tuesday 16 April 2013

16/04/2013 - SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENTS TO YOUR HEALTH


                Significant improvements to your health go both ways, kind of like a stripper on a turgid cliff. It falls to the nape to decide the fate of a luscious sentiment and therefore you have no say in the matter, not unless you're willing to make swift payments to the regardless service. Just a reminder, servitude is compulsory no matter who's palm you grease. Think of it as a buttering up of resources, a gentle knife blade to the underbelly of romantic toast. It's soft and the concept is filled with cream, Tasmanian cream. That's the sort of stuff you don't want waking you up with a crotch sniff. Experiences range from the terribly bad to the mind-numbingly viscous. The leaves are made out of curtains and you can pass through them, provided you make the tiger purr in fifty different dialects. The pike swims in the opposite motion so you might get away with a quick pat too.

                A day at the beach is not covered in our winding contract, it is choked to death by the sheer paper chain of it. The sunshine is allowable on some days of the week but if you dare to make a longing glance outside of the rocky terrains of a whetted cubicle then you're going to be severely disappointed. When it's time to get away with stuff, you will be told in due course and maybe with the visual aid of ice cream sundaes. It's a little on the casual side but we can afford to be playful in the process of teasing solutions. The spuds are hereditary though so you must continue to eat them and eat them with gusto. Remember that the cameras are constantly on you and will not dither until your toilet break breaks through the dawning of morn. The lens is a receptacle of filth but even then the bright lights can be anything but rectifying to the introvert spools of tape.

                Timing is whatever we please it to be. The hours are non-committal and will abide by the thumbprint of the big boss in the tiny office. The chairs are tiny too but comparatively the make you feel  red-cheeked and spruced up with sexual energy. It's like living at home with a zebra: a quaint premise but one that surely would not work in practice. Where would the milk go? Who would volunteer to put up wallpaper? Can we lose guests appropriately? That's not for us to answer but you might give it a try: the voice recordings are like a fond farewell to harsh judgement. If you are in need of consultation then visit the brethren and spring a prophylactic leak directly in their floppy faces. We don't pay them to look self-sufficient.

                Then what about the memo? Deary me today, the bounders are about, aren't they? Didn't you read enough? The purpose of this exercise is not to answer questions or even to ask them, it is simply to make you shit yourself in a new and proactive way.

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