Bother met Never Mind and said 'Why
is it that you are always so incessant about action figures?' Said Never Mind
to Bother, 'May I interject? I would like to proffer a more easy-going form of
insurance. My intentions are nothing but pure, if you would only accept them as
being such.' 'Bollocks!' said Bother, 'I have no intention of declaring your
intentions fair and just. I know you not well enough to state the bleeding
obvious.' 'How very blatant.' Said Never Mind, as he reached for the loafers,
'I trust you will go off and fend for yourself now, down in the undergrowth.'
'Like hell I will!' Bother groaned, removing his socket puppet from Never
Mind's hand. 'Behind me is my legion.' Never Mind warned, 'Behind me is your
death provided that you don't return Mr. Squirteedum promptly.' 'You have no right to Mr. Squirteedum, you
vile bombastic tatterdemalion!' Bother seethed. 'Then we shall let the next paragraph
settle this.' Never Mind nodded to the line of space below him and the black wayward
scrawl beneath it.
Ultimate power and ultimate
vegetations are the way into the heart of a blind man found wandering some
desert. If you feel prickles on your arm it's because you're lying to the wrong
person about banana gouges. The plasterboard is waxing on and orange lights are
going off to call attention this most significant event in human history. The
rug is on the wall, fighting with letters that have spent so many years trying
to stay up there unaided. If we must settle this argument between Bother and Never
Mind then we might as well do it now. Let's say: sod 'em. If they want to
bicker than it's only because they're just as petty as each other. The sock
puppet is property of the US government and we all know that. They can fight
over the tassels instead provided they remembered to bring their purple crayons
and sharpened lifestyles. Now that that is over perhaps we can turn our
attention to something of greater importance: the way that slug's dance at
weddings. They sway like weeds in a fallen breeze and they break just as
humbly. There is a pamphlet if you know where to look. Yes, the back garden of
your mortal enemy's house. Or is it a mansion? I must say they're doing rather
well for themselves. I'm so proud.
As for you, I wouldn't hear the
thunder grumble for the silence. It's sweet that you'd say that and continue
thinking that way. We all know what the speakers are twittering about: it's the
fuzz and the pigs that can't fly because they've been allocated clipboards and
lonely little servitudes. I am sure that you'll say 'Let's be satisfied'; if
not then I will be forced to tickle your yardstick. Bother and Never Mind will
be watching of course but then they're perverts, the pair of them. I saw them
in the bushes and they couldn't disguise their giggles. Truly disheartening.
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