30/04/2014 - I'LL SEE THEM SUITABLY PAID

            I'll see them suitably paid, a job and the works for their little kiddies. Provided that they're wearing the pinnies with the bulletproof materials collected by the blind babe in the cave, the one with the swaddled hook nose. I will run my underlings off their feet to spare a franc for the remarkable places that the kiddies are set to go in. What is this? Am I mad? No, I just don't quite know how to requite my love for the theatrics in front of such squalid conditions. Was there a witness? There should be a witness, it feels fitting that a witness be present. Preferably underneath a hearthstone straddled by a gentleman strangler with a brand upon his coat of arms. The tide washes in all kinds of tourist guides that I absolutely flat-out refuse to read on the grounds that I'm not a musical director. Maybe that Nicholas, that underling's son with some runner's shoes on him, maybe he'll clear this garbage out of my path before Passover. Give your guns up or you'll die while my cake rises in the oven, it's self-raising and you're definitely not of the same case. The good news is that hockey is ridiculously overexposed and shall be attached to an army-shaped rocket and swatted all the way to the faithless moon that pretends that it's little more than a polite satellite. There will be no substantial attack to actor ethics, just concentration on a larger scale than usual. It's a lovely inspector, the one you have there.

          'Little people are constantly fitting me for a fight because of my gash and the way it lurks on the internet like a snake in freshly-sheared grass. Large people are more sporting but they test my patience with schoolboy tactics and moustache shaving. At least a good portion of the battle has been one for queen and country and the presence of mind of both constituting the thinking power of Calico Jack. Hungering for revenge on the edge of a knife isn't nearly as bad as people make it out to be, pirates are well aware of the health benefits; in fact they parade it around for all I care and for all I'm really worth to the wrong side of the law. Men with worse qualifications are hard to come by but their petitions are blameworthy and without flirtatious duty. No doubt our paths will cross as usual, like a celebrity covering a classic song with brutal vocal chords trapped in their snow globe heads. They make their own kingdoms with board game supplements and train timetables. Heaven knows, don't let them in! They don't behave! They conceal crucial political documents for the betterment of society! I don't care that sewing is really just capitalised storming around furry distances, I don't care about your antiestablishmentarianism, about your stirring of Polaroid pictures, about your stringent meat flurries, about the 30 mph zone we just past. This is my icy blast and I'm done with animation studios. It's been that kind of year.'