Monday, 7 April 2014

07/04/2014 - HELP A GUY OUT


Help a guy out by hermetically sealing the chair focus group member. This is not the guy that you are helping so rest assured but please don’t actually rest because that would be contrary to the task required of you at hand. The only way to wind the day is to tape something on a VCR and act like it’s live until the point where your eyes become pebbles of blackened source magic as produced by the burnt-up stand-up comic at the end of chides of the heavens. That last thing is a movie but we can’t seem to find it anywhere because that would prove invaluable to our personal war effort. The raging of battles requires more bloodthirsty hiccupping and incitation of a conjurer’s respectability. This shirt-wearing contest is really tiring him out, right from the logic to the tips of his ears.

            As per usual the printer is spitting scanner bits right into our faces as we work through the night in our desperate attempts at reclaiming a sense of dignity through prosaic chitter-chatter, something which none of us expect to work and yet everyone climbs upon every chance that they get. I’ll see the ambulance in my dreams and hold the cadaver there in polite resurgence of the fact that the rumour is but a smaller bit of the very same dream that is currently swelling the key lobes of my submariner brain. The tools of the trade are yet to assign responsibility to disposal methods so keep out of the way of making sure for, as we all know, the totems and map imagery can be inspiring to all the wrong kinds of people rather than the slick-hided.

            The dog is on the verge of papier-mâché and really wants to tell us about it with hoity-toity flourish and breath mints that go on for absolute ages and yet no longer than it takes a lover to sigh at the other’s visage. The showers will come straight out with it and call up the national guard in the hopes that it’ll make you sweet on them and see how sweet and edible their flesh can be to the living. It isn’t gainful, it’s painful. Erasure happens so often that the paint tins can be fashioned into elaborate lie detectors via the simple act of faltering over stumbled deliberations that would take years to recompense in any case.

            As one woman to another, please benefit from my knowledge: pornography is a quaint pastime. There’s nothing inherently destructive about it but it does degrade in places and won’t be biodegradable until the day they can illustrate exactly why men need it to keep their brains sharp like tachyons fresh from the grindstone and buffer. Eat, drink and be mal but please don’t give into Brimley fun just yet, not while the ruddy still live without axes in their hearts and a song where their special lobes used to be. THE BATTLE GOES ON…AND ON…AND OUTSIDE OF PUBLIC KNOWLEDGE… AGAIN.

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