Friday, 18 April 2014

18/04/2014 - GLASSY-FACED EUROTRASH


Glassy-faced Eurotrash tend to sit across from me on long trips through thin passageways. They carry books featuring glorious faces of pale beauties with their magnificent eyes whited out to spare the natural hegemony of society from any irrational upheaval. The terms are clear on the arrival of Eurotrash, you come in ice cream trucks or you come in nothing at all, which is to say naked. The professional work ethic of these people are what we on the council count on when dealing with them on a day-to-day basis. Werewolves are guarding our side of polarity and these  chaps and their old man chins are comparatively whimpering. This is the complete closet, the commando elite that trains itself to be endearing to the toy-wielding popularity contest audience that regularly rubs down this byway with surly fingertips. Nothing is rosy in this film-watching racket so the Eurotrash better be ready to stock up our DVD collection with classics and nothing but classics. We want the kinds of films that we wouldn’t normally watch unless high or inside a suitcase with no other means of pliable escape. I don’t know about the rest of you but my glands are retroactively conspiring with my nether regions without kindly sending a memo or tying up the little ones’ bootlaces.
The food chain ends in breast implants and the little Indian that resides in our poetry books is entirely indecisive about his heritage, picking and choosing his levels of audacious niceness. You can’t say fairer than that, his feathers tell us or maybe its his turban or maybe it’s his fancy watch with the hands holding fast every quarter of an hour. We are cruising by barmpots and tough accents to chew on while starting an illicit affair with an illicit alien of illicit intentions on every illicit day of the week. The week itself does little to stump our games and jokes. The picture we get in our minds is of large breasts that open up roof tiles so that the rest of the household might access heaven-sent beer. Lager comes from Aldridge and not very frothy. The well-wishers try to sell the taps like they would the brand but the brand isn’t quite as sticky as it once was and that’s probably down to the taps. Drips, you see; too many droplets on the phone conversation and not enough detail to hammer in.
Drawbridges are becoming exactly like everything else and that’s almost definitely down to the Eurotrash. Museums and granddad aftershave linger in their wake like shopping bags from some Godforsaken outlet that doesn’t sell Blu-Ray or blowfishes. Show a little initiative to the rest of the planet and you know what you get? You get rickets and a bloated nose because of those rickets. I don’t know, something irregular happens and medical science can’t quite catch up or scratch its head into gear. There’s something to be said about the breakthroughs of foxy ladies recently though, they swallow fire fighter catalogues by the dozen.

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