Tuesday 6 May 2014

06/05/2014 - APPLE PIE THANKS


Apple pie thanks. Text me your number concordantly and the Black Cats should have no problem to speak of, they’ll just sit on the third rail and sputter with their top lip undone and their bottom lip wound round into a fanciful bowtie. The misandry of the act shall be indeterminable but all your dollies will continue to say that they love you with fluffy ears and the light hurts us with cute moments.

‘We’re your top-knot friends and we know where it’s at, usually in the basement. We’re free for sound bites and don’t really have the time or the wealth to judge, we’re still in our pyjamas and moving along the shadows as if they were cake on wheels. We’re Navy Seals, we’re SAS, we’re the dollmakers, we’re the conjoined teeth of a man who collects primary real estate for kicks. Leave the learned man on, he might turn out to be a friend with a lovely set of buttocks for you to establish with egg yolk. We’re not gay, we’re ex-military and lacking razors for cleaning our buttresses.’

That tykes are irresponsible is a commonly held dictation on foggy days that cut up dresses and dangerous homing instinct. She’s never done anything like that before, she’s usually a curly childminder with hills to climb under and ceiling grates to defy with earth-shattering broom handles. Are you still there, tykes? The clothes are telling of friendship and the wanting of beady eyes all on you for your bearded moments.

‘You say that you were hungry, that only chocolate ranks would do but we can’t identify chocolate ranks because we are just a Disposition League used to lie about sinking link. You make lunch in wondrous ways. You go on as quick as you can and get your tools ready for the yearning of suffered posteriors. You’re a wonder to behold when we put those ceiling grates back up with grafted skin and martyred plastic. You know all the old fools, all the army peacocks, all the aggrieves you can cause with just a few poorly-CGI’d rats and plain red screwdrivers. Lambs of chickens, turkeys of mutton, scissors on a stick. You make it all happen.’

 I can hear noises that signify that indications are correct about the forecast that the trees have it that everything will be fine, hunky-dory, exemplary, timely and not at all grey around the gills. The coy mistress of badgers makes herself special every morning just to show that not all handymen are made equal, they trick their clothes and cut up the sound bites into iddy-biddy bits of silver on mint-free pillows.

            ‘I am worried about her, we are worried about her, you are coming home to itchy murder. I am a growling dog, we are a nibbling pack, you are ready for the inevitable drum roll. I am at my nerve’s end, we are at the end of the pinch, you are yourself in derelict tunefulness. I have started, we are starting, you starts.)

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