Monday 27 January 2014

27/01/2014 - REGARDING THE SOFT TISSUE PACKET


Regarding the soft tissue packet, it is in the mail and making its way at the speed of a shark fin in a drug cartel. What good are little old ladies in this attribute? How best can we squeeze the life out of their noodle-like chromium supply without plunging headfirst into a pit of viscous tea? Should the dear or lady tap the side of a wine glass, we will be diving fifty feet below sea level in pursuit of the bag lady instinct. Mr Big Hat wants to hem the under skin of your colonialism and then sell it on to Mr Thank for use for anyone ages 7 and up. Mr Thank breathes with every man-child he kills, he breeds at the thought of their crippled memory. This game bears out its monopolising sadists and toasts them with an electrified fork in thefoot. What we would all do to serve such a dark and a hungry God!

The more you see of my coat, the less you’ll come to understand or appreciate the stitching of my gold-plated jacket. My mother is a bounty hunter and she spent hours on the sleeves and she really doesn’t appreciate it not being cooed at every ninety minutes. Momma don’t like being kept away from her Christmas films. She has listeners everywhere, mostly spiders with paint on their pincers. Perhaps today you gave out because of all the bookshelves in your way, perhaps it was a brick wall that really didn’t cuddle up to being talked down to by you.

The detonation is a tenth of my price, a fifth of the iodine and a quarter of Sasquatch Feed. When combined together, these elements shall cause all rock bands to bleed at the drums and call out for cackles in their substitute ears. There really is something to say about guitar strings that run down the back without any sort of keys or chords being pressed. Lines of little ladies will form and queues should shrivel up and become a thing of the past like the stigmata these little ladies felt when they last went shopping at the local outlet. Wardrobes keep opening and flapping their doors like they were portcullises.

As brilliant as it may seem, the all-round brochure is sitting on my phlegmatic throat right now, pretending it has woollen spools all over its back. It just wants attention to grasp at, to grasp itself with and I don’t think the Widow wants to start up that sort of thing until after the condoning period has run its natural course. Sensitivity is a productive quality in most party negotiations, especially where Mr Big Hat and his unlucky company are concerned. These chumps always end up dying by sitting on untested remote controls and loosing their tiger wives onto their panty regions. Armies send out what they can but even then they don’t want endings for the messenger boy to yammer out. They just tap out the invasion and display it on the broad side of a hammock.

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