Saturday 24 August 2013

24/08/2013 - PORTLY PRIGGISH

                Portly priggish dunderheads! Palaeolithic mastodons! My, how your graffiti gets it wrong! My, oh, my! Man, oh, man! You sir, are venerable! It's time to flay your public again!

 

                I'd rather not see you drinking while you do it but I must admit to enjoying, nay, basking in that glimmer in your eye as the fat, fortuitous details come spewing out through the ears, nose and throat of your local GP from Mars Market Square. You know the place, the glorified puddle at the end of the sarcophagus, the one where all the pissy policemen retire to when their opinions get shacked up with farthing principality and the marriage remains somewhat shaky. You know you secretly enjoy going to that place to hear the shoes squeak, the cans explode and even the fat Filipinos sort his prestigious shoe horn collection in the middle of the gutter, just off centre and only slightly off-key. It's just the way you usually like it and I know how you like the things you like to be distinctly off-white. It turns them into the things you love and resist all negative criticism of them. It would break you down to a nub.

                 And of course we have the leotards ready and the health emptied and divided accordingly so that you can continue your unearthly, ungodly hopscotch tournament with the other Queens of Dung Heaps. Everyone on staff just loves to see you all crammed into the official jeep, circling the block with your tin pots on and your happy alarm's blaring. It wouldn't be a party otherwise. Meanwhile we on staff are thoroughly content to keep to our usual duties of security camera surveillance and recording cheap, tacky rap remixes. We on staff have jewels to polish and plosives to misconstrue in our polite but concrete conversion conversations. We're halfway to ruling the borderline with all planks on board and talk-talk-talking about the latest brick fashions. It takes a short while before we convince them that such matters are impure and not worthy of prospective members of the Yellow Rucksack Deviation Society. It's a closed off community but we like it and like it for you in the dictated way.

                I see we are having a 'human-shield-off' now. The 'scapegoat' game doesn't get a look-in these days and it really is a crying pity to not see all the fresh, young faces you usually exploit during such activities. The blood is the part I enjoy most. It makes Marty the chauffeur all hot and bothered and that turns him into yet another reckless passage of time. Just watch his dyspeptic cheeks: they go all bright red and squeamish and then a little purple at the centre. He really should treat his skin better. You score and the bronze clock of his vision is yours, to put it very plainly. Since we saw the replay, my mind keeps going to surprising places and twirls in ballistic recruitment patterns, dips for a while and then debases itself.

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