It
isn't easy being one who decrees because he wears fancy robes. On multiple
occasions I've had to communicate rapidly with long distance shore leave
providers about conifer conferences and hydraulic links to all men named
Schultz. You could say all you like about guys named Ike, Schultz don't deserve
the feel the brunt of the aftershock of such turbulent hatred. I like the Jews,
so long as they don't saddle up their bows in my shoe shining emporium. It's
not racist, it's quite right and makes pointless celebrities out of all
involved.
Chilling
cornucopias are my next big project and I'm diving straight in. I have a few
things I'd like to decree and even one or two things worth condoning too. As
always I'll make the headshots clean and well-lubricated so that those who are
stranded on the second floor don't get caked in sorry business. I'd buy the
whole of the second floor usually but times have been rather tight of late. My
beard is growing thick so we must call out the donkeys.
It's
a delicate process and involves much hankering after television psychics. These
cold readers are just like the Truant, naughty and unwilling to divulge any of
their cleverer tricks unless hefty bribes are involved. I can't tell you how
many raisins I have spent in trying to reason with the lad and I shouldn't
think he eats them. I've got it into my head that he snorts them through the
barrels of his shotgun and then spits them into the back of a corporal's head.
When he isn't bothering me, the Truant is usually on the warfront making a mess
of everybody.
Anyway
they've finally gotten around to fixing the election. I asked for a glorified
raise and they are willing to give it to me provided I jump through a few
notorious hoops. The first is inflammatory, the second is marriage and the
third is a walkabout. Meandering across some silly desert, who would even want
that sort of life? It's only empowering for the first thirty minutes and then
you start getting all thrifty and generally untrustworthy around small
children. Beheading is a common side effect, one that I have perfected. Then
again I am a Tyrant, in or out of the robe.
This
earth moves around in measures, surly centimetres and quenched inches. It's
best not to pick sides when you're a successful villain, it behoves you to
simply throw on the robe and go out and do your job. And let me tell you,
causing travesty is a full-time job. I make videos too. They're quite popular
as it turns out.
No comments:
Post a Comment