Sunday 2 March 2014

02/03/2014 - TAKE MY ADVICE


Take my advice and fire what we know so far with blatant disregard for the cold leads that run to nowhere and become writers with pristine fingertips. Be sure to bag it up, bag it all up and prepare for the arrival of the huntsman and his travesty of a travel case that rides along on rickety wheels that demand to be closed down and sold on for higher profit. Valentine’s Day has been and gone and now where do we go from here? We keep our cards rolling off the knuckles and make nutty remarks on how far progress has taken us and if we could ever be so plucky as to go back with our hair in slick slide back and our suits all tailor-made. Such a possibility seems unlikely because we have a tendency to become negative polar bears with negative chances at negotiation over fierce dinner wines and meagre breakfast wines. The gross network has put the fire under my ass and he’s just aces at the best of time so goodness only knows what he’s like right now. The bags seem to be magical, ending in vibrant curls that probably lead to speck dimensions and far-off continents in our own collective imagination. Maybe there’s a grove there, maybe an orchard filled with typified white fluid and Dreidels. This could all be in caps lock but Burton told me to stay away from such debasing talk in case your little ears can’t handle the paperwork or the travel guide semantics. I think they can and they’re just stepping all over your magnificence.






            You didn’t take my advice. You didn’t traverse the boundaries of the toy store and now you’re stuck in the backroom playing with yourself in the hopes that your knob will turn plastic and you won’t have to think again. Well I’ve got news for you, pal, that’s exactly the way they wanted you to go. By rebelling, you played into their hand and now you’re little more than a bendy raja. You’re outdated and river fresh. The wounds you have probably won’t heal because the batteries are all wilting and the safety net has become a blind man crumpled up on the pavement of the thirty-third precinct. All the bandage salesman are steering clear in case the cops catch sight of their wares and start asking about bail and the price of avoiding it these days. These days you’ll do better by having buckle shoes rather than lace-ups, the parental generation before you will feel its regression but they won’t cross the border for it. It’s your own lesson to make, your own farfetched attempt at preaching to the next few lots of kids that the grainy image on the computers is really supposed to be there. Just sit back and make yourself happy by comparing yourself to Judas. The tatty pillows are out of reach and the angelic dulcet of a compendium of red, red roses are right at your feet. Set out.

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